THE DIARY

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This page is really long now. It's been like 2 years ago when I started this thing. I might move it to Xanga to save my bandwidth, but don't worry. You'll still be able to read it.

May 2,'03
Last Sunday, me, Scuba, Lysa,Courtney, Jessica, and Brandy went to the mall. Nothing really happened until around 5:00 when we went to JC Penny's. The girls got me and Scuba the dorkiest clothes they could find and they took pictures. Then, "our vengance be done!"(We got them back). We got them the most hideous stuff we could find in the junior section...It didnt go too well since all the clothes were cute. I got Brandy (size 0, shirt size small) a XXL denim jump suit that was taller than me, and I'm 6'1"! I taught Lysa how to play Magic: the Gathering. Now I have someone to play with! Yay!

April 17,'04
Guess what?....I GOT MY PERMIT!!! I got it Thursday morning. It took me two and a half hours because my dad didn't know he had to bring the real birth certificate and he went and took the thirty minute ride home to get it, only to find out that he couldn't find it and then he found out that all he had to do was make the 10 minute trip to the health department to get a notarized copy. Then I was one question from failing the test because I missed six questions off the bat, which is the most that you can fail. Well at least I got it and my picture doesn't look half bad.

April 11,'04
Happy Easter!Well, since I haven't given you the juicy details on Lysa's and my one year,here it is...when I met her that morning,I gave her a packet of papers.It was full of research on the present I was going to get her...I was treating her to Amerigo's, a nice Italian restaurant downtown. She hid my first present in my geometry book, it was a collection of spoons from her parents and a nice card.It was pretty,Lysa.Then, she gave me another collectors spoon which she hid in my packet of my jacket that she had borrowed that day. Then I treated her to Amerigos. Her dad had to take us because my mom couldn't take me. We had dinner by candle light and she ordered iced tea,a side of fettucini alfredo, shrimp scampi and a dessert of white chocolate cheesecake drizzled with raspberry syrup and chocolate syrup. I had iced tea,a caesar salad w/grilled chicken, chicken parmesean, and tiramisu,recommended by Ashley Perry which I so wanted to try because it had rum.(It was a weak Kahlua rum) Anyways,me and Lysa went to Florida and Key West. We first went to Englewood, a small town. She was so excited to touch a palm tree. She had never seen one up close. We went to the beach there and watched the sunset. Then we went to Key West. I loved it. The houses were so cool and there was art every where. Lysa loved it, too. We went to Mallory Square which was downtown (a short bike ride away) and watched street performers like fire breathers and jugglers. It was cool. Now we're back. I'm sleepy.Bye. 

March 19,'03 Well, the Military Ball was fun, all I need to do now is learn how to dance. There will be no more lights at the military ball nor will there be a king and queen court because when the lights went out people, as Mr. Clater(Assistant Army Instructor of ROTC)put it,"tried to make the next young generation of Tennessee citizens. The mothers also nagged at him asking him why their baby didn't get queen even though they got the most votes.Next is the cheerleading story...yes, the rumors are true. I went to the sign up meeting with Scuba Steve on a dare. The gay guy, LHS's first male cheerleader, came up to me and asked me if I was really going to join. I said yes. I didn't really want to go to the try-outs but Scuba pressured me into going. We were going to become the first straight male cheerleaders of LHS. We were also going to represent the minority of the school(anti-preps, stoners, goths,etc.) and we were supported all the way. The first day was pretty fun. I could do one hell of a toe touch if I might add. It must be the Asian blood. That is pure skill. Scuba didn't really want to do that but I talked him into it. Bad idea. He split his pants in front of the whole group of girls. Nest morning Mr. Clater commented us, saying he didn't know that a guy could have so much charisma at such a thing or even stand up around so many girls in skimpy shorts*cough cough*. As I was going to practice with Scuba, the coach pulled Scuba aside and told him his GPA wasn't high enough. The limit was 2.25 and he had a 2.22. That meant that I was stuck with 3 gay guys and 50 girls all by myself. It was miserable. This one cheerleader asked me if I could do a cartwheel."Nope".A hand stand?"Nope".A round off?"A watchamacallit?"Yep...I was clueless. I did a hand stand on the wall to see if that would impress her. After I did it, I didn't know how to get back down so I fell on my face. Then I did it twice more and did push ups while I was at it. Didn't land so gracefully on those either. At the end of the day, I had learned a cheer, a dance with rather suggestive hip shaking, and I had a bruised head,ankles,ribs,face,knee, and sore wrists. I had chosen to give up because I had figured out at the end of the try-out that I had to go to a mandatory summer camp which I could not make. Woe is me.

March 13,'03
Tonight is the Military Ball. I can't wait to wear my bow tie! It's going to be fun. I requested for them to play SOAD, Perfect Circle, Marilyn Manson, and some other bands. Yesterday, me and a few friends played Walkie talkie tag in the mall. If you want to learn the rules, go on over to the Time Wasters page. That's about all I can think of so until next time...

March 10,'03
Well, yesterday me and Scuba went to a cheerleader sign-up meeting. It was very intimidating. There was an openly gay, male cheerleader there. He asked me if I was really going to try out. I said, "Yes. The only thing I'm worried about is the $200 fee." He said, "Oh, silly. It's $900." Now I'm worried. I have to go to try outs next week.

February 22,'04
Well, I went to Tae Kwon Do on Thursday with Lysa and this guy stepped on my pants and shanked me while we were sparring. It was the shiny green and blue pair I got for Christmas from Courtney...and Lysa missed it all, even though she was sitting right in front of me. I spilled some spaghetti on my pants near my crotch, so I asked someone for a Shout wipe(that thing that takes out stains). It said to massage the pants in with the wipe so I did. A bunch of girls happened to come across me while I was doing this and it looked like the wierdest thing in the world. I am the advertisement manager of the Scuba Steve Fan Club. If you would like to join, please sign up in my guestbook. Thank you.

December 16, '03
This Saturday we had a surprise party for Brandy. She was asleep so it took two hours to go through with the plan.  I got shiny green boxers for my Christmas present from Courtney. Five minutes after I got them I was running down the street with them on and my shirt off.  Three cars were coming and we weren't sure if any of them were cop cars so we went inside. It was cold. I got to ride with Scuba while he did J-turns in the neighborhood.  It was super spoony. That's how I spent my weekend.

November 16, 2003
Lysa is typing this.  I played Halo until 1:30 am yesterday morning.  The rest of it i slept through.  To answer many unanswered questions, Lysa did not cheat on me with a four year old.... sort of. that is all

November 9, '03
It's kinda' like...over,but I went to Halloween as a plumber. I was Carlos. Lysa cheated on me with a guy named Mark. The kicker was he was four. I feel like I didn't do enough as a boyfriend.*sniff sniff*I'm a failure... I need a hug.

October 17,'03
I have subdued my monthly visit to humiliate myself in front of elderly watchers at the Nashville Nursing Home. I don't know how it happened ,but I'll just let it be. I'm in Iowa now. Yup, I'm with my grandparents. That's all I really have to say right now.Yeah! THIS IS MY FIRST ENTRY AS A 15-YEAR-OLD.

September 21, '03
I'm really sick.*cough* sniff sniff. Lysa had a biology report that was 56 pages. That took up the whole day.

September 14,'03
I watched Benny and Joon today with Lysa and Amanda Nguy. I learned how to mash potatoes the cool way... with a tennis racket. We went to the flea market and accomplished nothing. Lysa's dad came from Ohio Friday to stay. Lysa almost busted my chin from being so happy and hoppy. Homecoming is in two weeks! I can't wait. Uh. Bye.

August 3,'03
I went shopping at the mall with Lysa today. In lamens terms that means that I sat on my ass for four hours.I did nothing else today.Uhhh.Bye.

July 25,'03
I'm in Chicago right now and Lysa comes back in two days! Man!Oh well. I guess I can wait another two days.That's all I can think of. Bye.

June 27,'03
I got to make a boomerang today. I got it approved by the foremost boomerang theorist in the world! He has met Albert Einstein and Werner Von Braun (designer of the V2 rocket).

June 26,'03
I ed off a group of college freshmen last night.They were waiting at the door to get in to the cafeteria. I was going to help them in but another freshmen told me not to and I decided to play along. I just stood there and waved at them and on of them said,"I won't forget this!" I replied with, "What?What?I'm eating dinner and you're not.What?" Five minutes later they got in and looked.I hid myself with a tray.Please do not worry.No dumbasses were harmed in the making of this entry.I just got back from getting shocked with a DC tesla coil.I held a light bulb in one hand and got shocked in the other hand and I lit the bulb.I also got to throw a boomerang today.I almost caught it too.Pretty spoony.

June 24,'03
Man. I was over the 20 kilobyte limit that tripod gave me so I had to delete and move like crap.Alot of things are changed and I'm sorry if something you really liked on this site got lost in the process.Just email me or make a comment in the guestbook.

June 19,'03
I made a called "Sooper de Dooper Spaceship-that-does-Absolutely-Nothing-but-Go-Forward Obstacle Course ".Pretty spoony...for a retard. I made it on Interactive Physics at Vanderbilt University so you can't play it unless your computer happens to have Interactive Physics on it...which I know it doesn't. I tried to buy a Cinnamon Pop Tart for $.75 today but the vending machine was being stupid and I didn't get it. I played in a Magic tourney last night. I won one and I lost one. We will continue it later.I'm going to play Laser Tag tonight.Our P.A. group against a group and a younger guy group.We're going to win.Hands down. I miss you Lysa.

June 17,'03
Sunday I became a godfather! "How does it feel," you ask? I don't know. I feel the same. Maybe I get some special powers or something. I want to fly... never mind I'm afraid of heights. Hmm...screw it. I'm pretty ed right now because I was going to get a phone card from Dad but Mom heard about it and said "No".

June 13,'03
Merry Friday the 13th! Last night the boys hall was against the s hall in a hall decor contest. The s put on a skit about a convict as she lives her life in jail. Pretty nifty. We just T.P.d our hall and I put signs like "Insert decorations here". I think we won. Today we went to see a laser show for math. I almost got a seizure from all those colors. By the way... go to seizurerobots.com for a treat. This computer won't let me link it. Enjoy!
P.S. I love you Lysa.

June 12,'03
I'm at Vanderbilt University.I missed 30 min. of class today because I overslept.Ummm...that's all.I miss you Lysa.

May 26,'03
Nothing to say.Umm... if any of you find a baseball monkey drinking beer, send me the picture the picture. I need that picture!Thank you.That is all.

May 23,'03
This entry is just taking up space.Just kidding.Sorry about the dog performing *ahem* sodomy.It's off now.Lysa is an abusive girlfriend.She busted my lip when I tickled her.That is all.

May 17,'03
Yesterday was National Racking Day. The signs are: guys holding their balls in agony. I personally got racked 5 times within the first 15 minutes of school. I watched all the important parts of Ghost Ship today. It didn't scare me. The music on this site did. Holy crap, it surprised me!

May 9, '03
I am at Lysa's house about to watch the Ring.Scaaarrryyyy.....I think. It has been established. I can lick my elbows. Bye!!!!
 

April 26,'03
I finished my Eagle project. No more work! I went to Sir Pizzas and wasted my life savings($4). I talked like Elmo the whole time. Spoon. That's all.

April 25, 03
This is some anti-Kristian hacker!!! His idea of somthing stupid and my idea of something stupid is 2 completely different things.  He is leaving for Tae Kwan Do.  He is also gounded from his girlfriend (Lysa)... I thought that when ur parents grounded u and take away ur tv its because u did something not pertaining to the tv but he is grounded because of her, so they said he cant see her for a while...key is - no one knows how long this while is though.  His parents didnt like him being gone all day at her house and not doin his homework or projects till 10 or later.  Well I have to go....

April 22,'03
Ok...that last diary I'm too damn lazy to correct so I'll just say that was April 17.There.This is Lysa's computer.I made a new preamble to the constitution today.Yes.I am a genius.That's all that happened today.My stomach growls alot according to Lysa.Don't ask...Bye!

March 17,'03
ZZZZZZZZ......This break sucks!All I got was sunburn...and*sniff*Lysa...keep strong,buddy...has left for the break.*sob**sigh*Oh well. I miss you and I love you Lysa.Peace!

Mar 15, '03
Last week Rian spent the night over at my house.That Friday we just walked around saying "Pssst. Kid. Over here. Want some candy?"Then at 10 p.m. Scott came over to my house and we decided to walk around and set things on fire. I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and stuck it in my hoodie to wrap around flame retardant things.At 1:30 a.m. we came across a car magazine in the middle of the street. Scott set it on fire. 5 min. later a cop strolled by in the distance and saw our little bon fire. Scott and I started walking away and Rian asked about the fire. We both said "Stomp it out for us,Rian."
    Nothing is funnier than seeing Rian stomping out a fire with a cop car coming toward him. We got caught anyways and the cop asked "What are you doing?"Scott said "Nothing much. Just setting things on fire."The cop gave us a suspicious look and said "Okay.It's 1:30 in the morning and all three of you are wearing dark clothes. This doesn't look good."Thank God he let us go.

Feb 28, '03
Spoonman brought a Yoga magazine to school and started to do a half lotus and walk around on his hands.That's probably the only thing Spoonman did special today.

Feb 24, '03
Spoonman made a computer boo boo.I can't load my scanned pics on to this site.First I scanned it then I emailed it to my email account because I had to leave.Can anyone help me?Leave me an answer in the guestbook or email me.Thanks.

Feb 6,'03
     Today was Wacky Tacky day at LHS.Last years came to a fruity demise when V.P. Mr. Zago replaced it with Be A Cowboy day.I am proud to say that I dressed up.I'd can't describe how I looked without taking up a whole page.Let's just say me and Scott M. had a kick scaring little kids at the middle school bus stop.Everybody!Applaud!This is my first good diary entry!

February 2,'03
    Howdy.This is Spoonman trying to add his second installment in the Diary.This is crap.I can't write worth $#!*.If I could write, I'd be in Creative Writing making an essay on "If I could be any animal in the world I'd be...".Please give me something to write about!

January 23, '03
Nothing really happening.Got snowed out of school.Ate some Frosted Mini Wheats.Damn.How do girls write to their diary without sleeping...*yawn*zzzzzzzzzzz